When Making a Phone Call Feels Like Public Speaking: Dealing with Phone Anxiety

Have you ever stared at your phone screen, heart pounding, dreading the moment you’d have to press “call”? Do you rehearse conversations in your head, yet still freeze when someone picks up? If so, you’re not alone. Phone anxiety is a real and often overlooked struggle, affecting people in both personal and professional settings.

Let's dives deep into why phone anxiety happens, how it affects daily life, and practical strategies to overcome it. Whether you struggle to make a doctor’s appointment, order food, or answer work calls, this guide is here to help.

What Is Phone Anxiety?

Phone anxiety, also known as telephobia, is a form of social anxiety that specifically revolves around talking on the phone. Unlike texting or emailing, phone calls require immediate responses, making some people feel pressured, judged, or nervous about saying the wrong thing.

While some people experience mild discomfort with phone calls, for others, it can cause intense fear, avoidance, and physical symptoms like:

• Racing heart
• Sweaty palms
• Shortness of breath
• Stuttering or freezing up
• Feeling mentally drained after a simple call

Why Does Phone Anxiety Happen?

Phone anxiety isn’t just about disliking calls—it’s often rooted in deeper psychological and social factors. Here are a few reasons why it happens:

1. Fear of Judgment or Embarrassment

Unlike texting, where you can edit your words, phone calls put you on the spot. Many people fear:

• Saying something awkward
• Not knowing what to say
• Misunderstanding the other person

2. Lack of Non-Verbal Cues

During in-person conversations, body language and facial expressions help us interpret meaning. On the phone, you rely solely on tone and words, which can feel stressful for those who fear miscommunication.

3. Overthinking the Interaction

Many people with phone anxiety rehearse conversations beforehand and analyze every word afterward. This cycle of over-preparation and self-criticism increases stress and avoidance.

4. Negative Past Experiences

A bad phone experience—such as being yelled at by a customer service rep or feeling rejected in a job interview—can create long-term anxiety around phone interactions.

5. Social Anxiety or Introversion

For introverts and socially anxious individuals, phone calls require fast responses and energy, which can feel mentally exhausting compared to written communication.

How Phone Anxiety Affects Daily Life

Phone anxiety can create real barriers in life, affecting both personal and professional situations:

• Avoiding important calls (doctor’s appointments, job interviews, family calls)
• Letting calls go to voicemail and struggling to call back
• Feeling isolated due to avoiding social or networking calls
• Struggling in jobs that require phone communication
• Over-relying on texts and emails, even when a call would be faster

Over time, this avoidance can lead to missed opportunities, increased stress, and a sense of helplessness when phone calls become unavoidable.

Strategies to Overcome Phone Anxiety

The good news? Phone anxiety can be managed and even overcome. Here are some practical steps to help you feel more confident on calls:

1. Start Small with Low-Stress Calls

Begin by making short, low-pressure calls, such as:

• Calling an automated service (e.g., checking your bank balance)
• Ordering takeout from a familiar restaurant
• Calling a friend who understands your anxiety

This helps you get used to the feeling of calling without high stakes.

2. Write Down Key Points

Before making a call, jot down:

• The main reason for your call
• Key points or questions
• Your name and relevant details (for business or official calls)

This acts as a safety net in case you get nervous or forget what to say.

3. Use a Script (But Stay Flexible)

Writing a basic script can boost confidence. Example for booking an appointment:

“Hi, my name is [Your Name], and I’d like to schedule an appointment with Dr. [Doctor’s Name]. Are there any available slots this week?”

Practice saying it out loud to get comfortable with the words.

4. Practice with Voice Messages

If direct calls feel overwhelming, try sending voice messages to friends or family. This helps you practice speaking naturally without the pressure of real-time conversation.

5. Use Relaxation Techniques Before Calling

Calming your body can reduce anxiety before a call:

• Take deep breaths (inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds)
• Clench and release your fists to relieve tension
• Remind yourself: “It’s just a conversation, not a performance.”

6. Stand or Walk Around While Talking

Movement can help release nervous energy. Try standing up or pacing while on the phone—it often makes conversations feel less intimidating.

7. Give Yourself Permission to Mess Up

Even if you stumble on words or forget something, it’s okay. People make mistakes in conversation all the time, and most of the time, the other person won’t even notice.

8. Reframe the Call as a Two-Way Conversation

Instead of thinking, “I need to impress them,” try “We are both working towards the same goal.” This shift can make interactions feel more natural.

9. Reward Yourself After a Call

After successfully making a call, acknowledge your progress! Treat yourself to something small, like a snack, a short break, or a few minutes of relaxation. Positive reinforcement helps build confidence.

10. Gradually Take on More Challenging Calls

Once you’re comfortable with small calls, try handling more complex ones like:

• Negotiating a bill
• Calling a workplace contact
• Discussing an issue with customer service

The key is gradual exposure—the more you practice, the easier it gets.

When to Seek Professional Help

If phone anxiety is severely impacting your daily life, consider talking to a therapist. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help address underlying fears and teach coping techniques. Exposure therapy is also highly effective for social anxiety.

Final Thoughts

Phone anxiety is more common than people realize, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable. With practice, patience, and self-compassion, it’s possible to build confidence and make phone calls feel less like public speaking and more like a normal part of life.

Start with small steps, celebrate your progress, and remember: the more you practice, the easier it becomes.